Saturday, March 14, 2009

Select seconds

So like,

In the process of shooting photos for my blog, sometimes, like, we end up with pictures that are still totally cute but just, you know, not perfect enough to be featured as part of a blog entry. These "seconds" are still fully functional and, you know, just contain minor flaws like a lack of focus or a weird look on my face.
So, for today's "Caturday" special, I'm gonna put up SIX slightly irregular photos of myself, where you normally only get one or two!








What a deal, meow!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Cute story with cute pictures and they aren't even of me! But they're still cute!!!

So, like,

I can't put my paw on it, exactly,
but there's something soooo totally sweet about this story:

What's new pussycat? The dolphin who made friends with a curious tiger

Now *I* wanna meet a dolphin, too!

Movie Review: 101 Dalmatians

So like,

Back on the subject of irrational monkeys - this weekend, the monkeys at my house decided to watch one of the TOTALLY WORST movies ever made. Ever.

101 Dalmatians is about this cool lady who likes to wear fur coats - and don't we all?! - who gets totally terrorized by a bunch of dogs. Stupid, ugly dogs. For, like, over an hour.

If that sounds like a really REALLY bad plot - that's because it IS a really REALLY bad plot. And, like, the movie doesn't make up for the lousy plot with eye candy or anything - most of the time you're looking at pictures of DOGS!

Just, a total waste of film.
A total waste of time.

There is one cat character in the entire film - and of course it's the smartest character, the only one who knows what is going on. But even the cat, like, hangs out with the dogs and, you know, helps the dogs and stuff.
Totally unrealistic, and, just, sort of embarrassing!

Of course, I didn't watch all that much of it really. Once I realized what it was about, I spent the rest of the evening ignoring it.

All in all, I give 101 Dalmatians ZERO stars and TWO THUMBS down.



WAAAAAAAAY down!

Friday, March 6, 2009

...but why MATH?

So like,

I was on the internet looking for links about myself, because, you know, there's always something new to see about what people are saying about me.
Well, anyways.
Some guy on youtube put up this video called Talley Cat's Theme.
Pretty thoughtful of him to make up a theme for me!



...
But I mean, like, really?
He did a pretty lousy job.

I'm NOT a lot like you* - I'm WAY cooler than that.

And I don't want to meet a mathematician!
An investment banker, maybe.
Totally not a mathmatician.

All I can say is, at least the guy got some celebrities to star in the video.
And Mario has really come a long way on that terrible Italian accent he used to have.

But next time you guys make up a song about me?
Just, like, try to put in something about how I'm sooooooo hot.
Something like,

"Talley Cat, she is more hot than you,
She makes me jealous 'cause
I want to be her, too.
She's really cool,
she's really cool,"
etc.

OK?

Meow!




*Unless you're Rod Stewart. Hey Rod Stewart! Are you enjoying the blog? Come see me again soon, meow!

"why you like cat???"

So like,

Recently, a reader has commented:
why you like cat???

and like, I'm not even sure how to BEGIN answering that one.
I'm like ... okay ... why you like air???
why you like sunshine???
why you like food???
why you like designer handbags???
why you like 1954 Maserati A6GCS with Pininfarina coachwork???
why you like 2 plus 2 to equal 4???

It's, like, just totally not something you CAN'T do.

Or to put it another way,

It's like this. Sentient living beings are fundamentally motivated to perpetuate life. That is, life - being an open system sustained by negative entropy - functions such that, rather than progressing towards a more stable form, it undergoes processes to sustain or enhance its inherent instability. Life is a self-sustained process. And in sentient living beings (among which I would number cats and some monkeys), that self-sustenance is enhanced by the ability to choose, among every array of opportunities, whichever alternative is most probable to achieve self-sustenance. Of course, non-sentient beings (among which I would number dogs, birds, fish, Matt Damon, and water buffaloes) also possess this ability, but in sentient beings it is augmented by the evaluative ability to assess not only choices in the present, but also the probable outcome of those choices and the comparative likelihood that any one choice will lead to a desirable outcome. Necessarily, the more an outcome tends to maximize negative entropy, the more desireable the outcome. In short, sentient beings have the ability to rationally and evaluatively self-perpetuate.

Thus, sentient beings are self-motivated to choose between alternatives, and label those that tend to maximize self-perpetuation as "good" (or variants thereof), while designating those that tend to defeat self-perpetuation as "bad" (or variants thereof). Good and bad, therefore, are not simply subjective opinion but represent actual, quantitative value judgments based on the desired outcome of continuing to live. Alternatives that are "good" MUST be chosen while those that are bad MUST be rejected, in order for the sentient being to continue its self-sustained life processes.

The question thus becomes, what kinds of alternatives are, in fact, desireable and good - what are "values"? To answer that we must consider the nature of sentient beings: because they operate on biological and chemical processes, their values must tend to aid in biological or chemical processes. Thus food, water, air, shelter - constructs which create or enhance biological processes - are considered values, to obtain which sentient beings employ rational or heuristic decision-making processes - again, with the ultimate end of self-perpetuation through the maximization of negative entropy. However, the complexities of sentient being - characterized by aggregate learning and multilevel decisionmaking - result in more complex values as well: for instance, whereas a (non-sentient) dog would eat any food it finds, a (sentient) monkey might plant a seed, rather than eating it, based on his ability to reason and infer that one seed planted would lead to harvest of many seeds later - maximizing his life-sustenance by considering the future outcome of his actions.

Thus, the function of cats as "value" is twofold - one, in the base-level sense of value, that cats are sentient beings whose primary purpose is perpetuating themselves - they ARE their primary value, and all decisionmaking is done with the purpose of obtaining sustained cats (or cat-ness). On a secondary level, cats function as a value to monkeys and the like, because they tend to enhance the chemical and biological functions thereof. The basic construct of "shelter" (or "home") is amplified in its effectiveness when a cat is introduced - though its requires the multilevel decisionmaking of a truly rational sentient being to appreciate this (that is, at first glance, a stupid monkey (I use the term precisely) might consider a cat in the home to add mess, noise, distraction, even allergens, while taking away from resources available for other values such as food, clothing, video games, etc. However, clever monkeys - rational monkeys - see beyond this first level of thought to the ultimate benefit derived from a cat in the house, including companionship, purring, snuggles, nighttime meows, mouse-catching, and ankle bites). Thus, cat equals value, and value equals good, when "life" is the goal by which these things are to be judged (as it must be).

Why, then, should what is "good" and "valuable" be liked? First we must define "like" - in the sense in which it is used here, it denotes an attraction, which rewards the actor with a feeling of happiness when the desired object is obtained. This process - attraction, action, and happiness - is inextricably twined with the process of decisionmaking described above. Rational consideration, and emotional attraction, are simply two facets of the same basic operation. Thus, we "like" what is "good," because it is a value which will lead, with the certain logic of physical law, to cat perpetuity.

As Aristotle put it in his work on Metaphysics, "Now 'why a thing is itself' is a meaningless inquiry (for—to give meaning to the question 'why'—the fact or the existence of the thing must already be evident—e.g., that the moon is eclipsed—but the fact that a thing is itself is the single reason and the single cause to be given in answer to all such questions as why the man is man, or the musician musical, unless one were to answer, 'because each thing is inseparable from itself, and its being one just meant this.'...)"

That is all there is to say - cat is cat.

So, why you like cat???

you can't NOT like cat!!!



It's irrefutable!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Another reason I don't like dogs...

So like,

Did everyone see this article in the Kansas City Star?

Just ask the Cat: Don't let Dogs out with Computers

A dog chewing a laptop computer cord started a $105,000 Olathe fire Wednesday that almost killed the family cat.

Firefighters rescued the soot-covered cat, Tater, from the burned duplex and got him back to his family.

A woman and her young son were home when the dog chewed through the cord and caused an electrical short that ignited the couch, firefighters said, and then they and the dog left the home.

Tater stayed inside until firefighters saved him. They said he seemed well-tempered for a cat covered with soot. No word on whether the dog showed any remorse


Well, I'd make him show some remorse -



you'd better believe it!

Back in the ... meow.

So like,

Those monkeys are just too much.
Every day for MONTHS I've been like, meow, I need to write in my blog now!
And every day they're like, not now, Talley, I've got to look for a job.
Or,
Not now, Talley, I'm shopping for a car.
Or even,
Not now, Talley, I'm reading the news.

It's just not right.

Seriously,the only thing a monkey should be doing with the computer is shopping for CAT PRESENTS,
or updating my blog.

It's not a tough concept, but those monkeys just aren't that smart.
I had to make it clear to them... I had to take drastic measures!

OK, Monkeys, is that what you think?
Well, you'll have a hard time "reading the news" if I take your computers!
So there!



So, what are you gonna do about it?!