Another reason I don't like dogs...

So like,

Did everyone see this article in the Kansas City Star?

Just ask the Cat: Don't let Dogs out with Computers

A dog chewing a laptop computer cord started a $105,000 Olathe fire Wednesday that almost killed the family cat.

Firefighters rescued the soot-covered cat, Tater, from the burned duplex and got him back to his family.

A woman and her young son were home when the dog chewed through the cord and caused an electrical short that ignited the couch, firefighters said, and then they and the dog left the home.

Tater stayed inside until firefighters saved him. They said he seemed well-tempered for a cat covered with soot. No word on whether the dog showed any remorse

Well, I'd make him show some remorse -



you'd better believe it!

Back in the ... meow.

So like,

Those monkeys are just too much.
Every day for MONTHS I've been like, meow, I need to write in my blog now!
And every day they're like, not now, Talley, I've got to look for a job.
Or,
Not now, Talley, I'm shopping for a car.
Or even,
Not now, Talley, I'm reading the news.

It's just not right.

Seriously,the only thing a monkey should be doing with the computer is shopping for CAT PRESENTS,
or updating my blog.

It's not a tough concept, but those monkeys just aren't that smart.
I had to make it clear to them... I had to take drastic measures!

OK, Monkeys, is that what you think?
Well, you'll have a hard time "reading the news" if I take your computers!
So there!



So, what are you gonna do about it?!

Merry Happy

So like,

it's Christmas, and those Monkeys have stuck me in a cage at a boarding facility with nothing but my shearling mouse and my skeepskin (yes, it's real) bed for company... so I've got plenty of time to think about how unfair the world is, and how mad I am at those monkeys...
But actually?
I'm not even mad right now. Maybe it's because I've had so much time to think (which I don't usually even do), but I'm just feeling grateful for all the good things I've got going on. Last year at this time (don't tell anyone!) I was on the streets (or in a shelter, I don't remember which) where all the other kitties made fun of me for my weird paws.
But now?
My unique qualities have been recognized and appreciated! I have everything I want, and I'm warm and dry and well-fed. I've got a car, and jewelry, and shoes and handbags and I get gourmet meals and my agent says I'll have a record deal soon. So, even if I'm at "kitty spa" for Christmas?
Life could be worse.
I just don't know how those monkeys can stand to spend this special day without me!

But for now, for Christmas, I wanna share a carol I really like. I know it's actually sung by field mice - and I'd usually rather eat them than listen to them - but in the spirit of Christmas I'd welcome them to sit next to me at the table of brotherhood... rather than, you know, in front of me at the table of gratin des souriceaux.

The Carol of the Field Mice:

Villagers all this frosty tide
Let your doors be open wide
Though wind may follow, and snow beside
Yet draw us in by your fire to bide
Joy shall be yours in the morning!

Here we stand in the cold and the sleet
Blowing fingers and stamping our feet
We come from far away you to greet
You by the fire and we in the street
Bidding you joy in the morning!

For ere one half of the night was gone
Sudden a star has led us on
Raining bliss and benison
Bliss tomorrow and more anon
Joy for every morning!

Goodman Joseph toiled through the snow
Saw the star oe’r stable low
Mary she might not further go
Welcome thatch and litter below
Joy was hers in the morning!

And they heard the angels tell
Who were the first to cry Nowell?
Animals all, as it befell
In the stable where they did dwell
Joy shall be theirs in the morning!



Merry Christmas!

Technical Difficulties, my paw!

So like,

I know that my absence from the internet has been tough on y'all. Well, it's been tough on me, too! And I just have to let you know, it's totally not my fault - if you couldn't figure that out on your own.

It's those darn monkeys.

They say they lost part of the camera, so that they can't put my pictures online. And I mean, seriously, like, what is the point of me writing for y'all if you can't look at my beautiful pictures?

So, I've been in this internet limbo, no pictures and no posts, for over a month now!

Well, I'm just not gonna put up with it anymore.

First I thought I'd just take a monkey's credit card and buy myself a camera... but then I realized that it wouldn't work without the monkeys taking pictures for me. I mean, like, of course I could take fantastic pictures, but if I'm not in them, who cares?

So now, I've decided that I'm just going to start posting OLD pictures until the camera gets fixed. I know y'all wont' mind - even though I'm actually more beautiful now (I just can't help it!), I was still plenty beautiful then.

And, you know, don't worry about me running out of old pictures anytime soon. I have, like, hundreds of them in my archives, and they're all totally beautiful, because they're all of me.

So, that's the plan for now and I know y'all won't mind...
but as for me?
I'm still seriously displeased!



(This picture is from a different time when the monkeys made me mad. Turns out, they do it ALL THE TIME!)

Very Suspicious...

So like,

Thank goodness THAT is over! Now that the election is finished, people can pay attention to important things - namely, ME.
And right now,
I think I NEED HELP!

Those Monkeys are at it again... they are gutting this place, taking out EVERYthing - even my cat toys and my litter box!
Now, cats don't have much memory, but I KNOW that the last time this kind of thing happened, I was forced to spend many days in an oh-so-unfashionable CAR... driving through the middle of nowhere and leaving my beautiful New Orleans far behind.
Could it be happening again?
Now that I have finally become happily accustomed to the Carmel lifestyle - now that I know where all the good stores and restaurants are; now that I have formed a relationship with a good hairstylist - would those bad Monkeys DARE to take me somewhere new...?
Would they?!



I wouldn't put it past them...